


the only thing

by sepiapages



Series: scribbles [6]
Category: Video Blogging RPF, jacksepticeye
Genre: Angst, Self-Harm, Suicide, vent - Freeform, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-13
Updated: 2019-02-13
Packaged: 2019-10-27 06:15:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17761361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sepiapages/pseuds/sepiapages
Summary: crosshatch, warm bath, Holiday Inn after dark





	the only thing

**Author's Note:**

> super duper major trigger warning!!!!! cutting and blood and blades and literal death.

It didn't hurt as bad as he thought it would. Really, the most prominent feeling was the dizziness. His head spun and he couldn't seem to keep his gaze on one spot. The walls turned into a mixture of gray and off-white swirls, the water stains joining in with the tiles. The winter scene outside the window matched the colors inside. Grays and whites floated in and out of view.

Except for the red. The red was bright and it didn’t fit the rest of the room at all. Still, it swirled all the same. 

Chase lifted his legs. Knobby knees poked out of the water. They were shiny with the water, but covered in vague rusty streaks. He blinked slowly. Everything was so slow. He watched the droplets glitter as they fell off his legs and dripped into the water. Ripples of silver and red moved the water in circles.

He sighed. The dizziness spiked and the hum in his head grew louder. He let himself slip a little lower in the bath. It was so warm. He wanted to drift away. 

Why was he still here? How long was this going to take?

His gaze flickered to the counter. More gray, white and silver. He followed the curve of the faucet and down the edges of the vanity cabinet until his view was blocked by a clear glass. He blinked slower still and let his focus shift. It was the bottle wrapped in black paper that had once held a full bottle of Japanese whiskey. A crystal glass sat next to it, only a small bit of amber liquid still in the bottom.

He licked his lips. His throat still ached for the burn, but the bottle was empty. He dropped his gaze. 

A glint of steel and bright red caught his eye. His razor sat on the edge of the bathtub. (When had he put it down?) Thick, red blood still clung to the edge. Small puddles surrounded it and discolored the otherwise clean, pale surface.

He couldn’t help but examine his handiwork. His arms sported a few small scars. Some white, some only barely pink, others still puckered and raw. The centerpiece, however, was the long slice that ran down the middle of each. Those cuts still wept streams of red that spilled into the water around him. 

The cotton in his head swelled. The world spun. It was close. 

He put his arms back in the water, hardly feeling the sting. It was starting to cool down, but it was almost over now. He let out a long breath and let his eyes flutter closed. 

He was alone. His kids were far away. The doctor was likely tending to his patient. His dearest friend would join him soon. Everything was going to be fine. 

With only the streetlights beyond the window to light the room, Chase settled into the water and felt himself fall deeper and deeper. The darkness welcomed him with warm open arms.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm fine don't worry about me


End file.
